


Vague

by intoapuddle



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Era (Phandom), M/M, Prompt Fill, shortfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 22:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19282252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoapuddle/pseuds/intoapuddle
Summary: Phil smiles. He’s got no clue how to be vague when the feelings are so big in his chest.[based on a prompt for insectbah: Phil talking to someone about Dan, early on in knowing each other]





	Vague

**Author's Note:**

  * For [insectbah (Flora_The_Entomologist)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flora_The_Entomologist/gifts).



The living room doesn’t look the same without Dan in it.

The sofa is the same colour and shape as it was before, a piece of furniture that Phil doesn’t remember ever being different. The memories of being a child next to his brother, playfully arguing about whatever video game they were playing that week, are being replaced by long conversations followed by kisses Phil had with a guy he has known for less than a year.

As if seeing it through Dan’s vision, Phil’s house is somewhat estranged to him now.

It doesn’t take being alone to feel lonely anymore. Anya is a fun house guest. They do all the same things that Phil did with Dan.

With a few important exceptions.

But Phil is full of thoughts and feelings about a person that is currently out of reach. Msn and Skype and Twitter and Dailybooth are no match for being face to face or skin to skin.

Phil prefers skin to skin.

They’re watching a stupid reality show when one male contestant makes a disgusted face. His nose crinkles and his nostrils flare and his eyebrows pull exaggeratedly up on his forehead as his eyes widen.

Phil giggles. He misses Dan’s exaggerated reactions.

“What?” Anya asks sleepily from the other end of the sofa.

Phil’s heart races.

“Oh, nothing,” he says softly. “Just reminded me of a face Dan made.”

His mates don’t know much about Dan. They didn’t know he existed until he made his youtube video, and Phil sent it to every person in his email contacts list just to rack up the views. Now, their take on him is that he’s another youtube weirdo with a fringe and some similar interests to Phil.

Phil wouldn’t call them wrong, but he wouldn’t call them correct either.

“He was here this weekend, yeah?” Anya asks. “How’d you get on?”

Phil glances over at her. She has sat back up, blanket covering her legs, facing Phil. Phil matches her position on his spot on the sofa.

“Good, yeah,” Phil says.

He smiles. He’s got no clue how to be vague when the feelings are so big in his chest.

Anya smiles back.

“Yeah?” she asks. “Did you show him Manchester?”

Phil blushes.

“We mostly stayed in,” he admits. “I took him to Cloud 23, though. And we went on the wheel.”

Anya’s eyes widen.

“Cloud 23?”

One of Anya’s best traits is that she is non-judgemental. Her tone now isn’t judging, per se, but there’s some surprise that asks for answers Phil doesn’t feel fully ready to give.

“Yeah, have you been?” Phil asks. “It’s got an amazing view.”

Phil remembers the view, but he finds himself thinking back to the way Dan had looked as he gazed out the window more.

“No, I haven’t,” Anya says, and the surprised tone settles into some acceptance.

“Had to show him the best of Manchester,” Phil grins.

Anya grins back.

“You stayed here mostly, though,” she points out.

Phil squints at her, feigning bewilderment.

“You’re insulting my house?” he says in a mock-offended tone. “While visiting? Anya!”

Anya laughs. “I’m sorry for questioning its excellence, sir.”

Phil smiles victoriously. She throws a pillow at him that he catches and lunges back just as quickly.

“You had fun, then?” Anya asks.

They’ve caught their breaths, drowsily sinking back in their respective corners of the sofa.

It’s not nearly enough to call it that. Phil has never felt understood by another person like Dan somehow understands him. He didn’t even know that that was the case until Dan’s eyes were finally clear to him and free from the pixels of a bad connection. Phil hadn’t felt completely misunderstood before, but then he hadn’t had anything to compare it to.

Phil settles his cheek against the pillow and smiles.

“I had the most fun.”

He feels a foot on his leg then, a faint pressure that leaves quickly, a quiet reassurance.

There is so much more Phil could say about this weekend. About Dan. About his dimples, and his big hands, and the small noise he makes that means he is taking in every word Phil is saying. Phil surprises himself at how much he had to say then, and how little he has to say now.

There is still a lot to be surprised by, it seems. The world has opened up and changed colours. Phil doesn’t remember things being this vivid before.

He will tell Anya at some point. He will annoy her with details she doesn’t care about and with flustered giggling as soon as someone makes a face on the telly, apparently. For now Phil reels some of it in, keeps it in his heart. 

What he shares with Dan remains only theirs for a little while longer. Phil wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> [tumblr post](https://intoapuddle.tumblr.com/post/185709948033/vague-g-800-words-2009-excerpt-phil-smiles) | likes & reblogs are appreciated!


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